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The following questions were proposed to Christians:
If a Christian father preach abstinence to his unbelieving 18 year old son, would he be wrong for telling his son that if he is not going to listen to him then he should at least use a condom? Is the father sending a mix message?
Where should Christians stand on sex education for our children in school? Do we alow our children to participate in sex education or do we stick with abstinence-only instruction? Is it a case by case situation? Do we at least inform them of the “protection” out there?
What do you think? Please submit your comments below:
9 Responses to Where should Christians stand on sex education
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March 14th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
To promote safe sex which in my opion endorses, condones, supports, or participates in effect homosexual/lesbian, etc.. relationships that I believe based on the text of Scripture violates the clear commands of God to do otherwise and that Christians are not to involve themselves by action or consent at all in these kind of practices (Eph. 5:1-11 cf. Rom. 13:12-14).
When one reads the passages I have listed it is abundantly clear that God forbids not only sexual immorality of any kind but the endorsing of the act as well (Rom. 1:32).
Here’s a question that I would like to ask:
If I knew someone who was a drug addict would it be sinful if I were to give them clean needles so they wouldn’t get a disease? Would that be different or the same as the situation above?
March 14th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Saiko,
That is a hard one, but I have to agree with you. I don’t give bank robbers bullet proof vests to rob banks. I don’t give an adulterer a safe place to have sex in my house so his wife wouldn’t catch him. I don’t give a murderer latex gloves so the cops can’t catch him.
So neither can I give someone condoms who wants to participate in the sinful act of fornication. If you disobey God then their are consequences. Not only that. My concern is for their souls not their physical well being. Unwanted pregnancies, AIDS, and other STD’s are the least of your problems.
The problem is that you have not been recoconciled to God and if I start by handing you condoms as a prelude for the Gospel (or to get you to trust me) then when I present you with the Lordship of Jesus Christ you may be confused!
This is about having a biblical worldview. The worldview of the world says “give them condoms because we don’t want people to die”. Jesus says “obey the Gospel” if not your body and soul will perish for eternity. I can’t see any other way. The Gospel, is presented with repentance and faith.
To start you off with a condom so you can continue to sin against God seems like an oxymoron to me my friend. God bless and stand strong for our Lord!
March 14th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Handing out condoms is directly related to the act of sex. So even if I’m not “doing the same” or necessarily giving “hearty approval”, I am sending mixed signals. I’ve never understood the disconnect that some attempt to create by preaching abstinence while handing out “protection”. It’s never added up to me. If I were a teenager, or even as an adult for that matter, I don’t think that I would understand the disconnect either. I would see the condom as, at least, partial assistance in my act of fornication. Therefore, even without necessarily having a “proof-text” and given the priority of the gospel, I could not in good conscience hand out condoms.
Now I have a question of my own. Where do we stand on sex education for our children? Do we stick with abstinence-only instruction? Is it a case by case situation? Do we at least inform them of the “protection” out there?
This is a great discussion to have amongst believers, by the way. (Better than the 3am sandwich! LOL!!!)
March 14th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
I believe that if I preached abstinence to my eighteen year old son and taught him not to have sex until he was married, I don’t think it would be wrong to also tell him that if he ever decided not to listen to me and he was to have sex, that he should at least use a condom. I wouldn’t buy condoms for him but I would tell him if he was going to be stupid and not listen to me, he should at least use a condom.
I don’t believe that this response is in any way endorsing fornication. I would probably give my 18 year old son the “but” clause because of how common sex is among teenagers. Because sex outside of marriage is legal and somewhat promoted in our society, it has become a common sin of practice. For this cause, I believe in preaching abstinence, but I am not naive of the commonality of teenagers experiencing sex outside of marriage.
God never desired for a husband and wife to get a divorce (Mt 19:8). But God gives an “exception clause” for divorcement in (Mt 19:9). Is God advocating divorce?
God commands believers not to sin but He also says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). So then, is God condoning sin?
March 16th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I think it would send a mixed message; it’s the reasonability of a parent to train a child, Prov 22:6.
I’m not sure if attempting to save one from the responsibility of a rebellious act by attempting to “give an out” is the reasonable action of a parent, by law
you would be an accessory in the act.
Adam and Eve were told not to eat nor touch the fruit of the tree in the
mist of the garden, They were told of the consequence of their action if they
were to choose their way. ” Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die”
God did not say, because I love you I’m going to tell you how to protect yourself in the event you choose your own way and reject me.
Because of the liberty the believer has in Christ we can choose, but as Paul said
to paraphrase through I can do all thing, all thing might not be a good thing.
March 17th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Scripture is clear on sex outside of marriage and like most said if you promote safe sex then you are condoning it. You don’t have to tell kids today that there are condoms out there because they already know. By me telling my child “Well son since your going to do it anyway here you go”, what message am I giving him. In 1 Thessalonia 4:3-8 it says:For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
I had a situation with my youngest son(14 yrs old) yesterday where my wife and I saw what appeared to be a hickie on his neck. I asked him about it and he gave me some story about it wasn’t one that it could have been bruise from playing in gym. So I gave him a bunch of scriptures to read on sexuality immorality and asked him to explain them and we discussed them. I just pray that it stuck with him and convicted him.
Now Timmy I don’t agree with the examples of whether God adovcates divorce because even though God hates divorce He says these are the only reasons you can get one. Do you think God would rather have a person stay with an abusing spouse or that cheating spouse. He gives us free will whether to accept His previous gift of eternal life or whether to divorce the violating spouse. And the same goes for sin. He doesn’t condone it. God knows because of our sinful nature that we will sin, so that is why HE will forgive them if you confess. He knows we are sinners.
If you read further in 1 John 1:10 it says: If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.
March 18th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Thanks brother Luis for your insight and objectivity in sharing with us your personal situation regarding your son and your stance to stand on the Word of God not matter the cost. The passage in 1 Thes. 4:3-8 is a slam dunk on God’s view on sex outside of marriage period! If people don’t see it it is b/c they are blind or either refuse to submit to the authority of the Word of God.
In reality Luis, when you break it all down to its lowest denominator, that’s what it comes down to: are we gonna obey God or are we gonna obey Satan, our flesh, or the dictates of the world.
We can’t say that we would preach or push abstinence in one breath and then offer “solutions” or “alternatives” to help aleviate the consequences of sinful behavior. To do so is to attempt to be wise in your own eyes and to circumvent God’s authority which in found in His word.
If you were to read Scripture you would find no references whatsoever that endorses or condones sinful behavior particularly with sexual sin. What you will find is God’s escape plan for sexual sin–FLEE! It’s not popular and most will not do it, but it doesn’t matter. That’s God’s plan and only recourse of action.
Tim. I think that you are missing the point of what others are saying with regards to your reason and logic. I don’t think people are ignoring your preaching abstinence, but what they are finding disturbing and sinful is when you offer counsel that God says is ungodly and offer alternatives where Scripture does not. That to me is the issue.
Walking a tight rope and not using a safety net isn’t a moral issue even if you were to caution and preach to your son about. It’s a wisdom issue. But if God were to teach that one is to use a safety net but disregard it then it becomes a moral issue.
Also, I don’t think (at least in my opinion) that people that are disagreeing with you are being too heavenly minded (which is absolutely nothing wrong with that given our sinful flesh tries to overthrow our desires to follow God) it is more of them saying what the Scriptures say and nothing more. 1 Cor 7:33 isn’t advocating sinning against God to love or support their spouse. Paul is discribing the dichotomy of singlehood and marriage and the earthly needs of the spouse vs the freedom of the single person to better serve the Lord than the married person.
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:43 am
My children are 19 and 12. I have had the Christian view of sex talk with both of them (and anytime I feel they need to hear it again- I purposefully dish it out). I know my children don’t always listen to what I have to say. So I make the most out of it by proclaiming Christ and our responsibility to glorify HIM. They know the consequences of having sex. They know that it is wrong in God’s sight. They also know about condoms. And they also know (and have seen the pictures that I have shown them) that those things don’t always work. Anytime we try to circumvent God (ie condoms) we aren’t fooling Him. So prayerfully, they will truly consider their father’s words from the FATHER and glorify Him through their suffering w/o sex.
March 29th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
I think the bible is clear on this, all the passages previously mentioned will suffice as well as Song of Solomon 8:4 where it says do not awaken love until it so desires. It was repeated throughout the book… so as with the Jewish tradition repetition was an indication that they thought this was of the utmost importance not to awaken those desires for sexual intimacy until the proper time, which is marriage.
Giving a youth a condom is like giving a 4 year old a loaded gun with the safety OFF. I don’t think Christian parents should shy away from proper education about sex in ITS PROPER CONTEXT of a future marriage relationship. Sex was created by God, and it is good in its proper place.
So when you see a young man or woman starting to notice the opposite sex it is then the time for them to sit beside the Godly counsel of their parents and daughters learn from their mothers to be virtuous WOMEN and sons learn from their fathers how to be faithful and protective MEN. This is NOT the time to give license to young men who are not ready to assume responsibility for the girl, but have his cake and eat it too. We need to really think about how we give license to boys to remain boys well into their 40’s, and how women allow it!
I could type on this forever…